Writing task
Section B: Creative Writing
Option 2: In the passage, a pond is presented in winter. Write a description or story in which a character visits some water (for example, a river, a lake, the sea, a fountain) in the summer time. Your character does not have to be a boy. [20 marks]
Relevant passage context (from the extract “Sliding”):
“But the pond was a disappointment. Winter had taken all life from the hills and the face of the ice was grey and blind – the colour of the flat sky above. Featureless, the ice stretched on, swept by an unhindered wind. The boys bent their heads down against the brutal cold. Their voices were feeble; they felt small and helpless. Only Randall Jenkins was unaffected. He ran onto the ice, planting his laughable feet one after the other. His legs rigid, both arms raised for balance, he slid with comic dignity. They all rushed after him, sliding and calling. The afternoon was suddenly warm and vigorous.”
Section instructions: “You should spend around 25 minutes on this section. You are reminded of the importance of clear and accurate written English and of careful presentation in your answer. Start your answer on a new sheet of paper and write your name at the top.”
Practise this exact question with personalised feedback on your writing.
Understand the task
A Summer Visit to the Water is a sensory description task that tests multi-sensory detail, atmosphere, structure. Contrast summer warmth with water’s sounds and movement; keep a clear central viewpoint.
- multi-sensory detail
- atmosphere
- structure
- precise vocabulary
Requirements to keep in mind
Recommended writing time: approximately 25 minutes (as indicated in the paper/section); Writing marks: 20 (subject to separately awarded SPaG marks); Published task/option: 2 (where the source offers alternatives, pupils answer the paper's specified number, not all)
Plan your response
- Contrast summer warmth with water’s sounds and movement; keep a clear central viewpoint.
- Plan a clear beginning, development and ending within the time available.
- Use precise vocabulary and vary sentence lengths where appropriate.
- Proofread spelling, punctuation and paragraphing before finishing.
Check your response against the task requirements. Leave time to review sentence clarity, punctuation and spelling.
Short atoply teaching example
Written by atoply, not an official school answer or mark scheme. This short illustration shows selected techniques. It does not set a target length or expected mark for the timed task.
Reveal example and teaching notes
By midday the river had turned the colour of green glass. We left our bicycles against the willow tree and followed the narrow path to the bank. Dragonflies skimmed the surface, their wings flashing in the sun, while reeds clicked softly in the breeze. I slipped off my sandals and stepped into the shallows. The stones were smooth and cool beneath my feet. Across the water a heron stood so still that I mistook it for a carved statue. Then it spread its wings and lifted slowly into the bright air. The whole afternoon seemed to open around us.
Learn from the example
- Concrete details build an impression of the subject. Notice how those choices work together rather than reading as a list of general adjectives.
- The viewpoint controls what the reader notices. Choose details and an order that sustain the task's requested perspective and atmosphere.