Descriptive Writing for the 11+: How to Paint with Words

Learn how to impress examiners with vivid, precise description that shows rather than tells. This guide covers the essentials: what to write, how to structure it, and how to elevate your language without wasting time.

What Is Descriptive Writing in the 11+?

Descriptive writing tasks ask you to paint a scene, moment, person, or feeling using language that creates a clear picture in the reader’s mind. You’re not telling a whole story with a big plot; instead, you’re focusing on detail, mood, and precision. The best pieces are focused, vivid, and purposeful.

Typical 11+ Tasks

Describe a place (e.g., a market, a forest, a beach in winter)
Describe a moment (e.g., the last five minutes before a race starts)
Describe a person or character using “show, don’t tell”
Describe an atmosphere (e.g., eerie, joyful, tense) using setting and detail

What Examiners Look For

1) Vivid, Specific Detail

Concrete nouns, precise verbs, and fresh imagery beat vague adjectives.

Weak: The market was nice and busy.

Better: Apricots pyramided on tin trays; traders sang prices over the clatter of scales.

2) Show, Don’t Tell

Reveal mood and character through actions, dialogue, and setting.

Tell: I was scared.

Show: The key slipped in my sweaty fingers; the lock clicked, too loud.

3) Controlled Focus

Stick to one moment or place; avoid listing everything you can think of.

4) Technical Accuracy

Accurate punctuation, varied sentences, and clean paragraphing.

Core Techniques

Sensory Detail

Use 2–3 senses purposefully; don’t force all five.

Sight: colours, shapes, movement
Sound: hum, clink, echo, whisper, thud
Smell/Taste: salt-sting, citrus tang, metallic aftertaste
Touch: grainy, slick, grit under nails

Figurative Language

Use metaphors and similes that fit the mood and avoid clichés.

Cliché: As cold as ice.

Fresh: The bench kept the night’s chill like a forgotten glass of water.

Sentence Music

Mix short punchy lines with longer flowing ones to control pace and mood.

Zoom and Select

Start wide, zoom into one or two telling details, then pull back to the overall mood.

A Focused Structure You Can Use

Opening mood (2–3 sentences): Establish setting and tone quickly.
Zoom to key detail: One object, sound, or movement that captures the place.
Character presence (optional): A small action or thought to add life.
Concluding line: Return to mood with a memorable image.

Before and After: Strengthening Description

Basic (Needs Work)

The forest was dark and scary. I walked carefully. I could hear noises and I felt nervous.

Improved (Shows, Specifies)

Pines stitched the sky together; between their trunks the path thinned to a thread. Twigs snapped somewhere to my left— small, quick. I kept my breath shallow, as if the trees were listening.

Timing Plan for 25 Minutes

3 mins: Plan focus (place/moment), mood, 3 key details, 2 ambitious words
18–20 mins: Write 3–4 paragraphs using the structure above
2–3 mins: Proofread for clichés, repeated words, punctuation, and a strong final line

Quick Checklist

✓Clear focus (one scene/moment)
✓Specific nouns and vivid verbs
✓2–3 senses used with purpose
✓Fresh figurative language (no clichés)
✓Varied sentences and punctuation
✓Ending that echoes the opening mood

Practice Task

Describe a market just before closing time. Focus on sound and one memorable object. 180–220 words.

Plan first: mood, 3 details, 2 ambitious words.