Source passage
July had been blown out like a candle by the biting wind that ushered in a leaden August sky. A sharp, stinging drizzle fell, billowing into opaque grey sheets when the wind caught it. Along the Bournemouth sea-front the beach-huts turned bland wooden faces towards a greeny-grey, froth-chained sea that leapt eagerly at the cement bulwark of the shore. The gulls had been tumbled inland over the town, and they now drifted above the housetops on taut wings, whining peevishly. It was the sort of weather calculated to try anyone's endurance.
Writing task
Write one detailed paragraph about your impression of the weather from this passage.
Remember to use quotations and explain the effects of the language.
Practise this exact question with personalised feedback on your writing.
Understand the task
This is a close-reading paragraph rather than a creative story. Give an impression of the stormy weather, select short quotations and explain how specific words create that effect.
- quotation selection
- inference
- language analysis
- PEE structure
Requirements to keep in mind
Write one detailed analytical paragraph supported by quotations and effects.
Plan your response
- Give one clear overall impression of the weather.
- Choose short, accurate quotations from the passage.
- After each quotation, explain what the words suggest.
- Explore effects of imagery and personification.
- Keep the entire response to one detailed paragraph.
Check your response against the task requirements. Leave time to review sentence clarity, punctuation and spelling.
Original atoply example response
Written by atoply, not an official school answer or mark scheme. Other successful responses are possible.
Reveal example and teaching notes
The writer presents the August weather as bleak, powerful and almost deliberately hostile. The opening image, "July had been blown out like a candle", suggests that summer warmth has been extinguished suddenly and easily. The phrase "biting wind" personifies the weather as something that can hurt people, making the cold seem aggressive. Similarly, the description of a "leaden August sky" creates a heavy, grey atmosphere: "leaden" makes the clouds feel oppressive rather than light or cheerful. The "sharp, stinging drizzle" appeals to the sense of touch and makes even ordinary rain sound painful. The beach huts are given "bland wooden faces", suggesting an empty, miserable seafront where everything has turned away from the storm. Meanwhile, the sea "leapt eagerly" at the shore, as if it were a restless creature attacking the land. Even the gulls are described as "whining peevishly", showing that the rough weather affects the animals too. Overall, the vivid personification and harsh descriptions create an impression of a thoroughly unpleasant day in which the weather seems determined to challenge anyone who goes outside.
Learn from the example
- The response links an interpretation to details in the source, keeping the discussion grounded in evidence.
- Explain how a choice supports your interpretation instead of only naming a technique. Each quotation should contribute to the point being made.