Writing question
Imagine you have travelled to a strange new place on holiday. Write a short diary entry describing your destination and a person whom you encounter. (15 marks total: 10 marks for content, 5 marks for spelling, punctuation, and grammar)
You should try to make it clear:
- What the place is like
- What the person is like
- How you feel about them
You might like to:
- Use the senses
- Use a simile or a metaphor
Practise this exact question with personalised feedback on your writing.
Understand the task
Introduce a surprising holiday location and one memorable person. Use diary intimacy to reveal how the encounter alters the writer’s feelings, while making the scene vivid.
- diary voice
- place and person description
- imagery
- accuracy
Requirements to keep in mind
Short diary entry; describe place, person and feelings; 15 marks (10 content, 5 SPaG).
Plan your response
- Use a clear diary voice with first-person feelings.
- Describe both the unusual destination and the person met.
- Use sensory details and one striking comparison.
- Show how your opinion of the person develops.
- Finish with a personal thought suited to a diary.
Check your response against the task requirements. Leave time to review sentence clarity, punctuation and spelling.
Original atoply example response
Written by atoply, not an official school answer or mark scheme. Other successful responses are possible.
Reveal example and teaching notes
Tuesday, 12 August
Dear Diary,
Today I arrived in the strangest village I have ever seen. Its white houses cling to the side of a steep cliff, and narrow staircases twist between them like ribbons. The sea below is such a brilliant blue that it almost hurts to look at it. Everywhere, I can smell salt, warm bread and the sweet perfume of unfamiliar flowers.
While exploring the harbour, I met an old woman who was repairing colourful fishing nets. She wore enormous round spectacles and had a laugh as bright as the bells on the boats. When I asked why there were little wooden birds hanging above every doorway, she told me that the villagers believed they guided lost travellers home.
At first, I thought she was teasing me, but then she pressed a tiny carved bird into my hand. 'For when you forget which way to go,' she said with a mysterious smile.
I liked her immediately. She seemed kind, but I couldn't shake the feeling that she knew something I didn't. I've put the little bird on my bedside table. Every time the wind blows, it turns towards the window.
I wonder why.
Learn from the example
- The voice connects experience with thoughts or feelings, making the response personal rather than a detached report.
- Develop the link between a particular detail and the narrator's reflection. Keep the requested diary, recount or monologue form in your own answer.