Source passage
The following passage is taken from ‘North Against the Sioux’ by Kenneth Ulyatt. Portugee is a cowboy making a dangerous journey in order to get help for some of his friends, besieged in their fort. Fortune is the name of his faithful horse.
The Pass Through The Mountains
Portugee had to go forward along the narrow mountain pass: behind him, and high above, held only by trees, the driven snow had accumulated into one huge, unsteady, fairy-tale bridge. It weighed a thousand tons, but was suspended upon a fragile web of creaking branches. Ahead, the wolves ranged right across the pass, snarling so hungrily that Fortune refused to move another pace.
Portugee tried once more. ‘C’mon, Fortune, feller’, and slapped the horse’s cold grey rump with his pistol. Fortune moved another step or two, and the nearest wolf crouched, ready to spring. Reluctantly, aware of the vast ice bridge above, Portugee raised his gun.
Crack! The wolf leaped, twisted and crashed to the ground between the wolf pack and the terrified horse.
Crack! Another noise shattered the air, but Portugee had not fired again. With mounting horror, he looked up. The whole span of ice seemed to drop a few feet and then stop. At the edges, against the black rock, a shower of snow jetted downwards like water from a fall. The cracking noise came again; dark lines began to run across the face of the ice, and quite slowly three or four blocks as big as buffalo toppled forward into the ravine.
He yelled at the horse. Still Fortune faced the wolves, unaware of the falling terror behind. Portugee slammed his pistol in his holster. Then, with one backward glance at the shattering ice above him, he played his last card. He rose in his stirrups. Digging his hands into the horse’s mane, he leaned forward over Fortune’s neck. The horse thrust up his head, unused to the weight balanced over him. This was what Portugee wanted. Bending forward as far as he could, he thrust his face down to the horse’s mouth. The soft velvet flesh came up to meet him, and as the avalanche broke above, the rider bared his teeth and bit hard into Fortune’s muzzle.
Fortune gave a surprised scream, and reared. Gamely, Portugee held on: hair and blood filled his mouth as the horse leaped forward, the wolves scattering beneath his flashing hooves. Jarred and shaken, Portugee could only cling there. It was an old, savage Indian trick, but it worked.
With a roar that filled the air like continuous thunder, the ice bridge broke up. Thousands of tons of frozen snow crashed down into the narrow pass. Blocks of ice as big as stage-coaches pitched along the bottom like marbles. Branches of firs broke and splintered like matchsticks as the avalanche rolled on. The wolf pack turned and broke. For one amazing moment, horse and rider, wolves and foxes fled side by side along the floor of the ravine while just behind them the snow piled an enormous tumbling mass - on the spot where, a few minutes before, they had faced each other for a fight to the death.
Writing task
Continue the story of Portugee and Fortune as they escape the snow and wolves. Describe one further exciting event as imaginatively as you can.
Time: 30 minutes (as indicated for this published task).
Marks: 50.
Practise this exact question with personalised feedback on your writing.
Understand the task
Continue the story about the rider Portugee and his horse Fortune escaping snow and wolves; introduce one more exciting incident.
- accurate expression
- imaginative control
- structure
- audience awareness
Requirements to keep in mind
Choose ONE option in the writing section; option 1; 50 marks; 30 minutes advised.
Plan your response
- Follow the exact instruction, form and viewpoint in the source PDF.
- Plan a clear beginning and a focused development.
- Use distinctive details rather than general adjectives.
- Allow a few minutes to check accuracy before finishing.
Check your response against the task requirements. Leave time to review sentence clarity, punctuation and spelling.
Original atoply example opening
Written by atoply, not an official school answer or mark scheme. This is an opening only; develop the rest of the response to meet the task requirements.
Reveal example and teaching notes
The avalanche thundered past them and vanished into the gorge. Fortune slowed, trembling, and Portugee bent close to his mane. Ahead, the path had ended at a narrow bridge of ice. From the opposite side came the sound of hoofbeats. Portugee tightened the reins. The mountain seemed determined to offer no easy escape.
Learn from the example
- The opening reconnects with the avalanche, the rider and Fortune, preserving continuity with the source passage.
- The broken route and approaching hoofbeats introduce a further difficulty. This is only an opening: the exciting event still needs to be developed.