Writing task
Part B: Writing (PDF page 7)
Spend about 30 minutes on your writing. Remember to leave time to check your work carefully. Please write on the separate lined paper provided.
You are the girl in the hairdresser’s. Write your thoughts as you prepare for the day.
Relevant passage (PDF page 9):
She stopped at a shop window and, pretending to look inside, stared at herself in the rain-streaked glass. The window wouldn’t reflect her properly. She was just a shape, an amorphous shape with water running down her. She realised she was looking into the window not of a shop but of a hairdresser’s. She saw the rows of empty leather chairs, the mirrors, the neat arrangement of implements, ready for the day. A girl was in there. She was walking about, aligning hairbrushes, making little adjustments to things. The girl looked up. She was wearing tight black trousers and a white T-shirt; her hair was extravagantly tinted, shaved on one side and on the other fluffed up like a parakeet’s tail feathers. Juliet gazed at her. What was this creature doing here, alone in this room in the rain? Where had she come from?
Practise this exact question with personalised feedback on your writing.
Understand the task
The Girl in the Hairdresser’s: Morning Thoughts: Write in the first person as the girl depicted in the paper’s hairdresser scene, expressing her thoughts while getting ready for the day.
- internal voice
- character inference
- emotional detail
- first-person consistency
Requirements to keep in mind
About 30 minutes writing; Write in the first person as the girl depicted in the paper’s hairdresser scene, expressing her thoughts while getting ready for the day.
Plan your response
- Write as the girl, not about her.
- Convey thoughts and anticipation.
- Stay anchored in the supplied scene.
- Include small preparatory actions and reflections.
Check your response against the task requirements. Leave time to review sentence clarity, punctuation and spelling.
Original atoply example response
Written by atoply, not an official school answer or mark scheme. Other successful responses are possible.
Reveal example and teaching notes
The mirror was misted over, and I wiped a small circle clear with the edge of my sleeve. I looked almost the same as yesterday, yet everything felt different. Outside, the first buses were beginning their journeys, carrying people who knew exactly where they were going. I wished I could be as certain. I put the comb back on the counter, checked my bag once more and tried to remember the advice I had been given. There was no reason to be nervous, I told myself. I had prepared carefully, and nobody expected perfection. Still, my hands trembled as I fastened my coat. At the door I stopped, listened to the sounds of the street and made myself smile. Whatever happened today, I would at least have the courage to begin.
Learn from the example
- The voice connects experience with thoughts or feelings, making the response personal rather than a detached report.
- Develop the link between a particular detail and the narrator's reflection. Keep the requested diary, recount or monologue form in your own answer.