Writing task
Part B: WRITING
Send about 30 minutes on your writing. Remember to leave time to check your work carefully
Continue the story from where this passage ends, just after Grace has fallen in the river. Do not introduce any new characters.
Relevant passage (the supplied reading passage, reproduced in full because it ends at the point from which the story must continue):
Grace and Madeleine are identical twins.
Grace and Madeleine’s mother had sent them to find wood for the fire. As they climbed up towards the forest the long grass was still very wet, spongy and slippery. It felt like a puppy they could not get rid of, who kept sniffing at their feet and slowing them down.
‘This is fun,’ Grace said.
Madeleine pulled a face and tipped up her foot to show that the sole of her boot was leaking. Grace pouted in sympathy. They arrived at the forest. They collected some wood, and were about to split it between them and stagger down with it when they saw Colin coming. He had his head down, pretending not to see them.
Grace and Madeleine didn’t have to say anything. They just looked at each other.
Shall we tease him or be nice? Tease first, then nice. That’s what I thought.
Madeleine waved to Colin. ‘If you can catch us, I’ll give you something nice!’ she shouted.
Grace giggled. ‘And if you can’t, you can carry all the firewood down!’
‘I’ll catch you both, then,’ Colin laughed. He ran towards them, hoping from side to side to stop them in their tracks as they danced away from him.
‘Which of us do you want, Colin?’ Madeleine teased him. ‘Me or Madeleine?’
And Grace echoed, ‘Me or Grace? Or me and Madeleine?’
‘Or Madeleine?’ Madeleine chanted, and gave him her special smile, sure that this time he would know one from the other of them and say her name out loud.
‘But you’ll have to catch her first,’ said Grace, dancing back and round him in that elfin way of hers, which Madeleine copied immediately. Colin laughed out loud, pretending to ignore Grace, and then when he turned towards her he caught her red ribbon. She twisted out of his reach and ran, head back, so her hair streamed. He grasped out for her again and Madeleine ran between them, letting her own hair loose, so her blue ribbon floated away and tangled with Grace’s red one.
‘Maddy! Is it you? It is, isn’t it? Got you this time!’ Colin laughed.
Madeleine lingered just for a moment, letting him nearly catch her; his arm just trailed across her shoulder and then she skipped away too. And the chase was on, that never should have been. First it was Grace and then it was Madeleine, as Colin darting after them, zigzagging from one to the other, the three stumbling and giggling as they hurtled down the slope and on to the track to the river.
Grace ran ahead and Colin was nearly with her, heading for the river. When she reached the bank of the river, she turned and shouted to Colin, ‘You can’t catch me!’ But the bank was wet from the rain, and she lost her footing. The river was deep and the current was fast. As she landed in the water, Colin felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach. If it’s Madeleine, she can swim, he thought, if it’s Grace she can’t.
What happened next changed all their lives forever.
Based on an extract from Deep Secret by Berlie Doherty
Practise this exact question with personalised feedback on your writing.
Understand the task
Grace Falls into the River: Continue the narrative immediately after Grace falls into the river, keeping to the characters already present in the source passage. Do not introduce new characters.
- narrative continuity
- suspense
- physical description
- character control
Requirements to keep in mind
About 30 minutes writing; Continue the narrative immediately after Grace falls into the river, keeping to the characters already present in the source passage. Do not introduce new characters.
Plan your response
- Continue straight from the fall.
- Do not introduce characters who were not in the original extract.
- Build sensory tension using water and movement.
- Use a believable sequence of actions.
Check your response against the task requirements. Leave time to review sentence clarity, punctuation and spelling.
Original atoply example response
Written by atoply, not an official school answer or mark scheme. Other successful responses are possible.
Reveal example and teaching notes
Grace plunged beneath the surface, and the river stole the breath from her lungs. For a moment all she could see was green water and a shifting patch of daylight. She kicked hard, felt the current drag at her shoes, and finally broke through into the cold air. The bank seemed impossibly far away. She reached for a branch that hung over the water, but her fingers slipped across its wet bark. A second attempt caught hold. The branch bent alarmingly, yet she clung to it while the river rushed past. Inch by inch she pulled herself into the shallows. She was frightened, soaked and trembling, but when she looked back at the fast-moving water she knew how narrowly she had escaped.
Learn from the example
- The response reconnects with the source characters and situation instead of retelling the extract. This helps the new writing feel like part of the same scene.
- Compare the narrator, tense and first action with the passage's final moment. Keep any compulsory opening and paragraph limit when writing your own continuation.