Writing question
Write about a time when you visited a strange, unwelcoming place. (25 marks)
Practise this exact question with personalised feedback on your writing.
Understand the task
Use a specific visit to an uncomfortable place to establish why it feels hostile. Let sensory signs and the narrator’s reactions gradually deepen unease.
- setting
- sensory writing
- emotion
- pacing
Requirements to keep in mind
Write about a time you visited a strange, unwelcoming place; 25 marks.
Plan your response
- Choose a place that seems genuinely unwelcoming.
- Use weather, sounds and details to create mood.
- Show your reaction through actions.
- Build to one memorable moment.
Check your response against the task requirements. Leave time to review sentence clarity, punctuation and spelling.
Original atoply example response
Written by atoply, not an official school answer or mark scheme. Other successful responses are possible.
Reveal example and teaching notes
The gate screeched when I pushed it open. Beyond it stood an abandoned railway station, its windows boarded up and its sign hanging crookedly from one rusty chain.
I had come with my uncle to photograph the old building from the public footpath, but even in daylight the place made me uneasy. Weeds pushed through the platform cracks, and a cold wind carried scraps of paper along the ground. Somewhere beneath the roof, a loose sheet of metal banged again and again.
“Strange, isn’t it?” my uncle murmured.
I nodded. The station seemed to be waiting for passengers who would never arrive. Through a broken pane, I could just make out the ghostly outline of a ticket counter. An abandoned timetable clung to the wall, its faded numbers still promising journeys that had ended years ago.
Suddenly a sharp rattle came from behind us. I spun around, my heart leaping. A blackbird burst from a bush, scattering dead leaves into the air. My uncle laughed, and I laughed too, although my hands were shaking.
As we walked away, I looked back once. The station was silent again, but I could not forget the feeling that we had disturbed a place which preferred to be alone.
Learn from the example
- The voice connects experience with thoughts or feelings, making the response personal rather than a detached report.
- Develop the link between a particular detail and the narrator's reflection. Keep the requested diary, recount or monologue form in your own answer.