Alone in the Winter Street - The Perse Upper School 11+
Source passage
When the short days of winter came, dusk fell before we had eaten our dinners. When we met in the street the houses had grown sombre. The space of sky above us was the colour of ever-changing violet and towards it the lamps of the street lifted their feeble lanterns. The cold air stung us and we played till our bodies glowed. Our shouts echoed in the silent street. The career of our play brought us through the dark muddy lanes behind the houses, where we ran the gauntlet of the rough tribes from the cottages, to the back doors of the dark dripping gardens where odours arose from the ashpits, to the dark odorous stables where a coachman smoothed and combed the horse or shook music from the buckled harness. When we returned to the street, light from the kitchen windows had filled the areas.
If my uncle was seen turning the corner, we hid in the shadow until we had seen him safely housed. Or if Mangan's sister came out on the doorstep to call her brother in to his dinner, we watched her from our shadow peer up and down the street. We waited to see whether she would remain or go in and, if she remained, we left our shadow and walked up to Mangan's steps grudgingly. She was waiting for us, her figure defined by the light from the half-opened door. Her brother always teased her before he obeyed, and I stood by the railings looking at her. Her dress swung as she moved her body, and the soft rope of her hair tossed from side to side.
Writing instruction
Continue the story from the narrator's point of view, once his friend has gone in for dinner and the narrator is left alone in the street. You don't need to write the entire story, just the next section.
Things you could include might be:
- Describe more of the street setting
- Explore the narrator's feelings
- Describe what the narrator does next
💡 Writing Tips
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- Continue in the extract’s first-person narrator voice.
- •
- Use the cold, dim street and its sounds.
- •
- Show that the narrator is alone after Mangan goes inside.
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- Hint at feelings about Mangan’s sister without overexplaining.
- •
- Describe the next short stretch of time, not a whole new plot.
📝 Sample Answer
The door closed behind Mangan, and the narrow bar of yellow light disappeared from the steps. I stood by the railings a moment longer, listening to the voices muffled by the walls. Somewhere inside, a chair scraped across a wooden floor.
Without my friend beside me, the street seemed wider and much colder. The lamps had begun to glow through a thin mist, but their light could not reach the mouths of the lanes between the houses. A cart rattled over the uneven stones, its wheels throwing up a little dirty water.
I pulled my coat more tightly around me. From an open kitchen window drifted the smell of boiled potatoes and something frying in a pan. I imagined the warmth of the rooms behind the dark brick fronts, the sound of plates set down and families beginning their evening meals.
Across the road, Mangan's sister appeared briefly at the window. Her figure was outlined by lamplight. She drew the curtain, and I found myself staring at the empty pane long after she had gone.
A gust lifted a scrap of newspaper and sent it scurrying past my feet. I realised that my hands were growing numb. There was nothing more to wait for, yet I walked away reluctantly.
At the corner I paused and glanced back towards the house. Then, hearing my uncle's distant footsteps, I turned towards home, still thinking of the doorway and the girl who had stood there.
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